subway poem
on the subway
i learn something new everyday
on the subway
i see things i wouldn’t see
if i was locked up in my car
focused on the road
for instance
right now
i keep staring at this man
with the craziest pointy mustache
and a stern look on his face
(i bet he’s german)
teenage girls can’t help but giggle
while others laugh
he is very out of place
something
i probably shouldn’t confess
when i get off the subway
if i’m walking up the stairs
passing catholic school girls
i can see up their skirts
on the subway
i’ve learned that people
don’t like talking to ’strangers’
maybe if they opened up a little
they wouldn’t feel so isolated
most days
i can look around
and see at least
five people
with i-pods
unaware of their
surroundings
most mornings
i can hear conversations
in at least
two different languages
even though i don’t always
understand
i still feel connected
©lauren corindia 2008
I like where you are going, but I would say you aren’t there yet. ;-)
Mostly, this poem does a lot of telling; I would like more showing. Make me see up the skirts, make me feel disoriented because of Mr. German Man, make me feel connected with the iPod people — those are the things that will bring this poem to life. :-)
Miriam